


Nyctophobia (Fear of the Dark)

by Oblivion_Wanderer



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Newtvember, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2571053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivion_Wanderer/pseuds/Oblivion_Wanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Any and all side effects were unpredictable.</p><p>In which Newt experiences side effects in the form of nightmares and Hermann tries to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nyctophobia (Fear of the Dark)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Newtvember! (this one's newtvember #5 for me)
> 
> Originally, this was one of two first drafted ideas back when I was writing a fic for the PR Mini Bang. I've brought it out again for Newtvember. I might write a piece similar to this later about how the Drift affected Hermann (which would most likely be for next month ;)  
> (apologies in advance for any mistakes. I'm tired, so I probably missed something somewhere)
> 
> Inspired by the song Nyctophobia, by Asia.

Side effects did not include nightmares of giant monsters, whispers in an alien language, and assailing memories from ether party, but no one could expect what would come from Drifting with the brain of a creature from another dimension. Any and all side effects were unpredictable. Newt had been aware of that from the very second he came out of the first Drift and started seeing visions in the form of memories.

A second Drift was clearly going to make it worse, but he did it anyway, for the greater good.

Post-Breach closure, Newt thought he was okay. Initially, he joined in on the party that was going on through the Shatterdome, and it was a grand time. But the nightmares began soon after.

For a third night, Newt found himself awaken in a cold sweat and his chest feeling like there was a weight pressed onto it or vaguely of being crushed. His nightmares were vivid and horrible and had not yet stopped. The biologist ran a hand nervously through his damp hair, trying to get the turmoil raging inside him under control.

“Calm...down.” He said to himself. “Your head's still a bit scrambled. You're... fine.”

Newt sat there in silence, hearing only his own troubled breathing and trying to erase the images from his mind. His hands held onto the bedsheets, bunched up in his grasp, and his tattooed skin prickled with the feeling that something was watching him from beyond the unseen barrier of the night and of subconscious.

Once he got his breathing back under control Newt lay down, knowing he wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon. Maybe it was just too much stress, or some residual effect of the Drift.

This was the third time, and he was really starting to get concerned about sleeping, of what lurked in the darkness around him and of his own mind.

 

* * *

 

 “Coffee, dude.” Newt muttered when he entered the lab in the morning.

Gottlieb, who was already there, of course, rolled his eyes at the biologist. “I already made tea, and I will not make you coffee when you can do it yourself. Your legs aren't broken.”

“Ugh, fine.” Newt complained. He grabbed a the cleanest mug he had and started the coffee pot. “I'll pass on the tea; it makes me sleepy and I only drink it when I'm sick or feeling low.”

Their connection caused by the Drift buzzed with annoyance and it made Newt wince. He was really not in the mood for arguing today.

The coffee machine made a noise indicating the hot beverage was finished and he instantly took a sip of it without thinking. It was hot and bitter in his mouth, just what he needed, and he made a little noise as he swallowed.

“Don't burn yourself.” Gottlieb chided from his desk.

Newt muttered something under his breath and slumped down in his desk chair. Totally not in the mood.

He stared bleakly into his drink, steam rising out of the mug and brushing his face with a slight warmth. It was the tiniest bit comforting. Newt closed his eyes and grasped the mug tightly in his hands. He almost felt like he could still see the visions from his nightmare playing in an old static film behind his closed eyelids. It bothered him. It made him nervous.

“Newton?”

Newt opened his eyes and blinked, turning his attention to his colleague. “Mm?”

“Are you alright?” Gottlieb asked.

“Uh... yeah. Yeah, I'm okay dude.”

“You didn't sleep well, isn't that right?”

Newt scoffed. “What? Are you watching me while I sleep or something? Creepy, creepy.”

“You imbecile, I would never do such a thing.” Gottlieb said. “You realize that this 'connection' of ours does have it's effects on us both? And after years it's easy to tell when you've had a restless night or lack of proper sleep. You're the one who stays up all hours of the night.”

“Well, when you're Drifting with an alien brain to save the world, you don't really think about those kinds of things.” Newt yawned after speaking. “And you're one to talk.”

“You're getting off topic.”

“Whatever. It's probably from that awesome party and this stupid Drift hangover.” Newt took another sip of coffee in an effort not to speak anymore. There was nothing to talk about. He needed to get back to work on what he loved.

“Lay off the coffee for once then.” Gottlieb limped over to Newt's desk and snatching up his coffee mug. Newt, of course, whined at this. “Caffeine will only worsen things. Get some proper rest tonight.”

“I can only try, dude.” Newt said, waving his hand dismissively, quickly taking his mug back. “You forget- I'm awesome; I'm a rockstar. No rest for rockstars.”

“The phrase goes 'no rest for the wicked', but I suppose in your case that's true.”

“You got that right!”

Gottlieb looked away from him, and Newt got a flicker of concern. “Will you be alright?”

He knew the physicist's words were sincere. There had been rare times when he could tell this, and it always left him with a bit of hesitation, yet comfort Gottlieb showed that he did in fact care. He saw it in the Drift.

“Yeah, I think so. Just you don't go wearing yourself out ether.”

“Hypocrite.” Gottlieb mumbled. “Be careful. Don't do anything stupid.”

“Heh, you should know me better by now.”

 

* * *

 

 The nightmares continued for Newt over the next week.

It was becoming a constant that they would torment him at night. The Kaiju that had imprinted in his head, leftover from the Drift, were haunting him. They came in many shapes and forms of those who had walked the earth before their eventual demise via the Jaegers. They- the masterminds behind the Kaiju- would whisper so close to him as if the were next to him. They seemed so real. They left him startled and shaking with their variations at night; monsters deciding to interrupt his peaceful darkness, claws reaching for him and jaws snapping.

Always when he woke up he would lay there before muttering to himself, trying to convince himself he was okay and fighting off the panic that was a rising tide within. Sometimes he felt like he would drown in it. Eventually it began to make him dread sleep... and the dark. Newt thought it was stupid and embarrassing, but he couldn't help it.

This was becoming more frequent. Was this what awaited him? Was this what was waiting for him every time he closed his eyes? They were waiting in the dark. Darkness was a trap.

 

* * *

 

Perhaps it wasn't within best intentions to unintentionally nap in the middle of work (again), but it _was_ unintentional in the first place; Newt decided to work all night in the lab, and he didn't mean for it to happen, not like he was complaining. He was awfully tired as of late, and he'd let Gottlieb yell at him for it later. That plan was going all well and good too, until he was thrown into a dream involving Otachi kidnapping him and the Precursors wanting to dissect his brain.

Newt woke with a start and pushed back in his chair, a startled mess and hands tightly grasping the armrests in fright. He went back a few feet on the rolling chair- nearly falling out too while he was at it- ghost images of monsters from the ocean remaining lodged in his mind. God, even a quick flash had been enough to make him tremble. This was the other effect the constant nightmares were having on him. It was the darkness he saw when he closed his eyes; it made a chill spasm down through his nerves. He was haunted.

The lights in the lab were dimmed- he could of sworn he left them on- meaning he was alone and that the other scientist wasn't here yet. He didn't know what time it was, nor bothered to check. Half his mind was still submerged under the haze of the dream, sticking to him and trying to drag him under those tides of insanity.

He wanted out. He wanted out! It was going to reach out from the dark and swallow him whole, damn the Kaiju-

And then the lights come on.

Newt freezes, then slumps down in his chair, wrapping his arms around himself and breath exhaling in relief. Gottlieb or some other person must of come in, but probably the physicist.

He doesn't hear his name called, and it takes a couple times for him to respond. He's trying to focus past through all the noise and tension in his head. Gottlieb was saying something to him, asking something. It was clear he had been observing.

Newt looked over nervously. “Huh? You say something, Herms?”

“Don't give me that.” Gottlieb snapped. “I tried getting your attention quite a few times and only now you're answering.”

“Dude, if this is about me dozing off like that, I didn't mean t-”

“I'm not talking about that! I come in and see you napping off-" Wait was he the one who killed the lights? "-meaning you must have been here all night working, again, and the only reason I allowed you to enjoy your short lived nap was because I'm still certain you haven't been getting enough sleep. But when you wake up so suddenly and looking like something frightened you I have a right to be concerned. This has been quite consistent lately.”

“What are you trying to say, really? 'Cause if you're gonna try and get me to see a therapist-”

“Newton, I am merely saying that you need to consider there might still be some lasting effects on your mind that's effecting you in more ways than one. It's becoming clear that this has had more after effects on you than me.”

“Shut up. I know that.” The biologist rubbed his hands over his face, trying to keep a grasp on himself. He could handle this. Everything was okay. He was completely okay... maybe. “Hey Hermann... Do you ever- I don't know- get this feeling of _something_ in the back of your head?”

“Yes- you, Newton.” Gottlieb said with a roll of his eyes.

Newt smirked at that. The new mindspace where Gottlieb now was actually served as a comfort for Newt. However, what he was mentioning was different and had nothing to do with his colleague. His mind drifted back to that suspicion he held, that there was something there in his mind. But it was probably just from the Drift, right? It was a Hivemind they had both dived headfirst into without any regard of what could follow. Saving the world had been more important at the time.

Still tired, he let his eyes close again. They came to him in a heartbeat, and he flinched harshly. Of course they were waiting to continue their torment. Maybe he'd never be freed of it and the biologist's mind would be haunted by ghosts until his body became a graveyard for his mind and soul or until the Kaiju ghosts and their masters ruled over him.

His brow furrowed and he nervously laughed, yet the small smile remained on his lips.

“I think that's enough.”

Newt grumbled, eyes opening to look over and grin falling. “What are you talking about?”

“This is getting ridiculous. Tell me what is going on.”

“Why?”

“Because you look like you haven't slept in days and you keep dozing off in the lab. And even then when you do you wake as if something was trying to harm you. You've been doing this is the waking state as well- absolutely paranoid. I repeat my main point again; I'm concerned.”

Newt opened his mouth to say something, but sighed all the same, and then it turned into a yawn. He tried to hide it, but it looked like Gottlieb caught on quickly. Knowing the physicist, it had only a matter of time before he said something, but Newt wanted to keep this to himself in the meantime.

That game was over now.

“Look...” Newt started, folding his hands together. “Okay, yeah, I guess I... I haven't been sleeping very well- yes I admit it. Satisfied?” Gottlieb said nothing, and so he continued. “I also sorta been having these weird dreams, I mean-” He swallowed and looked away, his expression sullen. “I still see them. I can still see the Anteverse, and it's just so... frustrating, because- duh, I knew there were gonna be side effects, but it's like they've infected my dreams and they freak me out so I can't sleep.”

At some point, Gottlieb had pulled over a chair, because he was now sitting in front of Newt. His hands were clasped on top of his cane and he looked at Newt with a mixture of calculating and sympathy.

“Sleep derivation influenced by night terrors brought on by the alien Drift.” He concluded. “I see.”

“Is that your official term for it?”

“No, It's just how I perceive it. And... I must admit, I too have had difficulty sleeping for some time.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “I'm not sure if it's from our Drift or not, but it's been easing off. By the sounds of it, you seem to have gotten the worst of it.”

“No shit...” Newt muttered. “I close my eyes, and see the dark, and... they're waiting for me there. I hear their voice and I see them, but I'm alone." He had to admit, Gottlieb was right about him being jumpy. When he snuck down to the lab that night, Newt had flinched and been startled by every small noise and shadow, thinking it was 'them'. He had even thought he heard 'something' whispering to him, even though it was just him walking alone in the hall. "It scares me. God, I'm so pathetic.”

“Don't say that, Newton; it's nothing to be ashamed of. There were bound to be side effects.”

“Yeah, but I'm the one sitting here complaining like a child who's afraid of the dark.”

It was then that Gottlieb reach out to set a hand on Newt's forearm.

“I can see how much this is troubling you mentally and physically, so I will help you.” He said, simply and getting to the point.

“Hermann-”

“Hush. I cannot leave you alone like this, you're reckless enough on your own as it is. I want to help you, and we will get through this.”

Newt blinked in surprise. At any normal time, Newt would have continued to handle this on his own, continue to try to mask this growing fear, but below his calm he worried they were in the shadows waiting to snatch him up in their claws; their trap for him. Eventually he would have fallen apart, and the results wouldn't be pretty. But then the Drift happened and... Well, Newt thought that something must of changed within himself, whether it was the Drift or Gottlieb sitting in front of him and offering help for a problem that the biologist would rather avoid dragging him into.

But despite this debate he still had to settle with himself, he felt relief at the words of the physicist. If the roles were reversed and it was Gottlieb who was dealing with these horrible nightmares, Newt would want to do anything he could to help as well. In any case, he sighed shakily and bowed his head.

“Ah... yeah. Thanks, man. I, uh, appreciate that.”

“You're welcome.” Gottlieb replied. “Now, the first step is for you to get some sleep.”

“That's gonna be harder than it looks. I mean, I'm not sure if-” He cuts himself off with a yawn, which doesn't help his case.

“You need sleep.” Gottlieb said. “If not and you continue to go without sleep you'll very likely end up in medical.”

“Mm. Yeah, that'd suck.”

“Indeed. Come along, let's get you to bed.

 

* * *

 

Newt looked a bit nervous when he sat down on his bed, now dressed in more comfortable clothing, but when he looked up he tried to give Gottlieb a reassuring smile. The physicist sat down beside him, cane held between his hands. From his understanding, Newt was being haunted by the Kaiju and their masters in his subconscious state through dreams and the dark, which was now bleeding into the conscious state and affecting his colleague.

They had both gone through the wringer when they Drifted with the addition of the Kaiju brain, and it had troubled Gottlieb that between the two of them Newt had come out of it worse. That fear had now been realized, and after all they had been through it was hard to see Newt suffering and loosing sleep over this.

“It's okay, Newton.” Gottlieb reassured, placing a hand on Newt's shoulder. “I'm here.”

“I know.” The biologist took off his glasses and set them over on the nightstand. “But it's not so easy when the monsters in your dreams are keeping you from sleeping.”

“That's why I'm here. Remember?”

“Mmhm. You don't need to do this, you know.”

“I'm only going to ensure you get proper rest.”

“Right; you could just easily hit me with a heavy text book and knock me out. Hey- Sing me to sleep, Hermy?”

Gottlieb rolled his eyes. “Lay down and go to sleep.”

“Alright, geez.”

Gottlieb moved over so Newt could lay down. The biologist, still looking hesitant, settled down in bed. He gave a huff as he snuggled his pillow.

Minutes passed, and Gottlieb had started to doze off when it was brought to his attention that Newt had moved around in bed restlessly for the third time. Experimentally poking at the Drift bond, he didn't sense a calm of sleep in Newt, but tension. The physicist didn't expect this to be simple, but the other wasn't going to get any sleep like this.

He reached over and rolled Newt over onto his back. “Newton.”

Newt blinked up owlishly at Gottlieb. The look in his eyes bordered on startled. It was like he had seen something else until he realized it was Gottlieb.“What now?”

“You've been restless.”

He didn't answer for a moment, green eyes glancing around the area. “Y...Yeah, and? I'm trying to sleep, like you said.”

Gottlieb sighed. “It's about 'them', isn't it? They won't get you here.”

“But... Dammit...”

“You're okay. They'll have me to answer to if they give rise to nightmares.”

He nodded hesitantly. “You'll be here if something happens, right?” Newt asked, voice low and quiet. It was a bit unusual- was he really scared the Kaiju would come to his dreams? Gottlieb almost wished he could see what Newt was seeing so he could understand.

“Yes. I'll be right here.”

“Cool... okay, so yeah, I'll just-”

“Newton, go to sleep.”

“I heard you the first time.”

 

* * *

 

Gottlieb didn't know how far into the night it was, but he couldn't care when he was down in the tendrils of a comforting sleep. No one keeps track of time when sleeping.

However a pull in his head and a sudden flash of terror is enough to get his attention.

The physicist jolted awake from his sleep and looked around. He remembered he was in Newt's room. He remembered after Newt had fallen asleep he had moved over to a desk chair he put across from the other scientist's bed. Gottlieb looked over to where his friend was sleeping, worried about that pull he felt. There was only one thing he was sure about it, the fact it had most likely come from Newt.

But Newt- Gottlieb saw him moving around in bed, making noises in his sleep that made him sound like he was in distress.

“Newton?” Gottlieb started, rubbing his eyes and moving forwards to sit on the biologist's bed again.

He placed a hand on Newt's arm to calm him, but the other scientist flinched and moved away from the touch. Gottlieb frowned and reached out for him again, this time slowly carding a hand through Newt's hair.

“It's okay, Newton. You're safe.” He whispered.

He moved his hand down to the scientist's shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. However, that's when Newt suddenly screamed and lurched upright, awake, flailing and almost punching Gottlieb in the face.

Newt looked around franticly, and Gottlieb could sense his fear, his panic. He could tell his colleague was overwhelmed and scared.

In frustration, Gottlieb pulled Newt close.

“Newton, it's alright!” He exclaimed over Newt's panicked whimpering. “You were just dreaming!”

Gottlieb looked down at Newt who returned his glance with wide eyes before burying his head in his chest.

“T-They're here!” Newt cried, muffled by having his face pressed into his clothes. "They're trying to pull me apart, Hermann! I can't take it!”

Gottlieb placed a gentle hand on his back, moving his hand in slow circles.

“Shh. There's nothing here but us.”

“But- They're still- I saw them!”

“Breathe, Newton. You'll work yourself into a panic attack.”

“I can't-!”

“Yes, you can. Just follow after me.”

Newt made a whimpering noise and Gottlieb hushed him, placing his chin atop the biologist's head. He could feel the other trembling against him.

“Just breathe. Close your eyes, let my words wash over you; you are safe now.”

Newt sniffled. “Th-That- You know _Night Vale_?”

“You've played it around the lab a few times, enough for me to remember spinets.” He paused. “Also, I... listened to a few episodes back when they first were released.”

Newt laughed shakily. “Y-You nerd.”

“Yes. Now relax; I'm here with you.”

Again, Gottlieb reached for their Drift bond. He focused on the part that was Newt, the part that was swarming with and buried under tension and fear. It was like he was submerged in water. In his mind's eye he could see Newt adrift under the surface, shivering in fear. He's so close to Newt right now, but the current state he's in keeps Gottlieb from him. Newt's trapped under the surface.

The physicist grimaced and tried to center in on the water, to Newt. He mentally reached down through the water and latched onto Newt's arm. Outside of this mental state, Gottlieb felt the biologist tense. Inside, where he was focused, he saw Newt's eyes open under the water.

“Yes, that's right.” He said aloud. “It's okay.”

In their bond, Gottlieb smiled and pulled Newt forward and out of the water. He hauled Newt upright and braced him. The other scientist looked up sleepily before collapsing against him, arms snaking up to embrace him.

The space in the bond faded, and Gottlieb looked down to see Newt had mimicked the gesture outside of the subconscious. He... was crying.

“Are you okay?” Gottlieb asked.

“Mmph. I...” Newt nuzzled his chest. “I feel better.”

“Is that so?”

“I can feel them in my head, but... you make it better.”

He rubbed the other scientist's back. “Good. Do you think you'll be able to rest? Or I can make you some tea.”

“Maybe. I... I think it's okay now.” Newt said, pulling away.

Gottlieb nodded and eased Newt back into bed, tucking the sheets around him. He made to move back to the chair, until Newt reached out and took his hand.

“Stay, dude...” The biologist muttered.

Gottlieb sat back down. “Of course.”

He squeezed Newt's hand when he closed his eyes, laying on his side and facing Gottlieb. The physicist silently watched him until his breathing slowly transitioned into even, soft breaths. Gottlieb felt into the Drift bond again and at last he felt a calm about Newt's mindspace.

Quietly, he leaned over and kissed the other scientist's forehead. He ran a hand through his hair again and hoped that at last Newt was getting some sleep.

Hopefully this would be long and restful without the ghosts lingering in his mind.

Gottlieb would be there to protect him if they did. It was just something they had to deal with.


End file.
